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The Bride’s Survival Guide: Questions You Should Expect From A Wedding Officiant

As you go around shopping for your wedding dress, you will also need to get an officiant for that particular day. You will have a lot of questions to ask them, and they too will have questions to ask you. Ensure that you are well prepared and have answers for them.

Whether your wedding will take place in a secular or religious setting, the officiant will need to know what type of ceremony you will embrace, and also your story as a couple. It is those personal details which will bring tears to the eyes of the loved ones as you exchange your vows. Are you getting ready to settle for a particular officiant?

The following are some of the common officiant questions that you will be asked:

  • Who, where and when? : That is one of the common questions that as a couple, you should expect from the officiant. The reason for asking the when is for the officiant to determine if they will be available on the time and date of your wedding and to find out how advanced in wedding plans you are.

The reason for the why is so that the officiant can get the general idea concerning wedding formality, determine the travel that will be involved for them to get to your wedding venue, and to know if they have ever worked at the same venue before. The answers will help them if the wedding is what they want and if they will be able to pursue it.

The purpose of the question is especially if one partner goes to the officiant and thus, the officiant is interested to know who the other party is. Before deciding on anything, the officiant wants to know how to address the couple.

  • What is the role that your families play in your life? : It is a question which the officiant asks to know how estranged or connected you are with your families. It will also give the officiant a sense concerning how many family members will be involved in your wedding ceremony.  There are times when couples are introduced by family members, which is a fun story to share during the wedding ceremony. And the officiant will be happy to acknowledge your parents by name during the ceremony and thus, this particular question helps the officiant to express your appreciation for family members adequately.
  • How do you plan to remember your ceremony? What do you want your family and friends to remember? : The Objective of the officiant is to develop a wedding ceremony that is ideal for a specific couple, and thus different questions are asked to find out what it will look like. The word perfect is subjective, and it means different things to different couples. Asking a couple to describe what a perfect ceremony is to them might not be valid and thus, it is best to work on the wedding ceremony backwards.
  • What is it that you have seen in other ceremonies that you disliked or liked? : The highest form of flattery is imitation. Some things tend to be casually tossed by couples, while others bring emotions and light up their eyes. Was it traditional? Fun? Elegant? Participative? These answers enable the officiant to learn a lot, and the more elements you can identify which you love, the better the officiant will be able to note down details so that they meet your goals.
  • How was your first meeting? When did you know that you have fallen in love? : It is an essential question from the officiant, which, as the couple, you might have answered several times. How did you meet? How you met and fell in love and how you narrate this story give the officiant a way to begin narrating their story and leads to the wedding ceremony theme.

Who between the two planned the first date? Is the location of your first date important to you?  Is your relationship built on adventure and surprise or one more focused on feeling at home with one another?

  • How were you engaged? : Different couples have different recollection when it comes to their engagement story. Some will insist it was a Wednesday while others believe it was on a Tuesday, the officiant will enjoy hearing the different version of both of you.

Officiant also likes to know if the one who proposed did something simple or grant. And what was the reaction of the one who was being proposed to? Did they expect the proposal? Were they surprised? Who is the one who chose the type of ring?

All those above are important in defining who the couples are both together and as individuals. When the story of your engagement is retold, it has a possibility of adding some humor to the wedding ceremony, or it could be that everyone is touched and start to cry. Both reactions are suitable for the wedding ceremony.

  • How do you describe your partner? : The officiant might ask each of you to email them a description of your partner and what you like best about them by example. What the officiant wants to achieve is to know how similar or different, and at the end, they utilize the list of 24 character traits such as curiosity, humility, humor, generosity. They then combine it with the other partner’s character to find their signature of strength.
  • Who are the best man and maid of honor? : The officiant wants to know if the maid of honor and best man are your family members, friends or you are connected to them through work. The relationship you have with them will impact on how they relate to the wedding ceremony’s content.
  • Are there traditional prayers included in your ceremony?: Because nowadays contemporary ceremonies are common amongst spouses who are not connected to any religion, the officiant wants to know, if at the end of your ceremony, if it is not a religious one, if you will honor your traditional religion.

Get ready with answers to the following questions so that, you don’t seem blank when they are short to you by the officiant.  To be more prepared when picking an officiant, check other related information at the ultimate bride’s survival guide.


Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

Photo by Valeriia Miller

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