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The Bride’s Survival Guide: Relationship Milestones That Ought To Happen Before You Get Engaged

Before thinking of starting to search for that best wedding dress after the question of an engagement proposal is thrown to you, but the love of your life, certain things should happen first.

To get engaged is a significant milestone in a relationship. That is the reason why it is important that you should have known each other for a while before the question is popped as it means that, at least you know each other well.

It takes some time before knowing each other very well because at first, hormones might play you tricks, making you not to notice the red flags or find out any challenges that the person might have in several areas of their life.  It might take at least a year before you start noticing the challenging and good in your partner while dating.

Because time is not the only tool which should be utilized to measure the ability you have for a marriage, the following are some of the milestones in a relationship which need to happen before engagement.

  • Learn about their triggers and challenges: Every person has them; those sensitive buttons which are a representation of an old wound or an emotional past. It will be helpful to know them before you agree that you are going to spend the rest of your life with your partner.

The more you are able to identify each other’s triggers and challenges, and can learn on how best you can handle them, the more prepared you will be, when it comes to working through the challenges that life will throw towards you as you soldier on as a married couple. Before you get engaged, you have to ensure that you will be able to handle this part of your partner’s life.

  • Meet their family: If you have ever watched movies about meeting the parents like the one by Ben Stiller one Meet The Parent, you might freak out in going to meet the parents of your partner. Before marriage, this is a critical relationship milestone that you need to adhere to.

It could give you a sense of your partner’s parents marriage setting, discuss the blueprints of the marriage and how it should be a similar or different relationship. You might also get a sense of how they are accepting you the way you are and try to respect the boundaries as a couple.

  • You should allow each other space: Being able to spend time away from your partner is a relationship milestone that you should meet before you decide that you are going to get engaged. There are some relationships which develop and grow based on the proximity in terms of physical presence versus an emotional connection that is very deep. When you give each other space in your relationship from time to time, it is an essential milestone for own selfcare and for the overall health of your relationship. If you find that, when you give each other space, the connection is no longer there, then it means that you are not intended for each other in terms of being life partners.
  • Be open regarding past relationships: It is information that you should come out with during courtship. If not, it is necessary that you address all the skeleton in your closet regarding previous relationships that you have held before. From your partner’s relationships, you will be able to tell the type of lessons which they have learned, what they believe when it comes to relationships, and the challenges that they don’t want to repeat in their current relationship. It will be able to inform the relationship going forward.
  • Know whether they are savers or spenders: It is true that, money tends to be something that makes most couples fight. To have an open and honest talk about where you stand as far as a finance spectrum is concerned, be it conservative or liberal, is an important aspect that you need to know about.

Money can be a representation of security to some couples, with different people have different preferences when it comes to saving money or even spending it, which at times,affect a joint lifestyle.

There are people who have poor credit or debt. In contrast, others tend to believe in austerity and investing, and thus, discussing in advance before engagement about your shared practices and beliefs can help you to plan regarding your future, where finances are involved.

  • Understand the expectations of one another: Though you might assume that it is obvious, it is essential to have an honest, open dialogue regarding what you expect about each other. As you hold such a conversation, it might be challenging for some partners, but you must keep it before you think about proposing to one another for marriage. When you partner with a person whose daily life does not bring out your ideal picture of what you would want your future partner to be like, is a sign of trouble.
  • Explore spirituality and religion: You have to understand where your partner stands regarding spiritual beliefs and faith and their willingness to take in your philosophy as it is a significant milestone in a relationship. There are times when couples fail to realize that the other had an assumption or expectation of what religion is all about when raising children, during baptismal and much more. You must visit a local temple, church, mosque and try to explore where you stand and your perceptions as a couple.

All of the above milestones are very important. They will enable you to evaluate the level of your relationship and if you are genuinely ready to get engaged and move forward into marriage.

If you are already through them and thus prepared for an engagement party, why not check out the ultimate bride’s survival guide on how to throw a splendid engagement party, the wedding planning and all that is involved in it. Keep yourself in the know and share the same with your friends who have just gotten engaged and don’t know where to start with their marriage plans.


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Photo by Git Stephen Gitau

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